I’m emotional, Yes it’s true; `coz I’ve been looking for a pretty girl just like you

What’s love… I don’t know, you tell me. Is it your personality… is it really? Is perfection possible… can one person be “perfect” for someone else? I want to tell and ask my boyfriend so many things, but I just can’t find the opportune moment to do so. But it shouldn’t be this way. He should be my best friend: the one I can tell everything and anything to without seeking approval or without fear of being dismissed.

“Your smoking bothers me… I thought I could handle it before but I really don’t think I can. Especially when the wind blows it on my face”
“The reason why I haven’t introduced you to my parents is because I’m not proud of you.”
“I dropped out of my summer course. Part of it is because of you.”
“I’m not ready to have sex with you- and I think you are. So if you can’t wait for me, just tell me now. Please.”
“I’m going on a three-day long weekend vacation to New York. And then I’m going on a two-week vacation to Europe. What are we going to do?”
“I’m having a really hard time… we’ve been chilling for the past four days and I can’t help but wonder- how the hell am I going to handle it when you go to Waterloo?! The last thing I want to be is one of those clingy bitches.”

I loved everything he says to me:
“You’re one of the very few people who can actually crack me up.”
“You’re perfect. I love your personality. I love you”

My boyfriend and I had our usual 3-hour conversation today… he’s not a virgin. No surprise there. It kind of hurts a bit inside to know that he couldn’t wait for me. I’ve thought about it- and I used to think it didn’t matter, but it really does. I never thought of myself as the type that would get all emotional about it… yet here I am, crying over a lost cause (yet again). I always put myself into these situations where I just hope for the best and yet am expecting the worst (and deep inside, I know the “worst” is going to befall me). I want to be there for him. All my friends are telling me to let go. I’m too nice to be in this situation right now. I’m a nice girl who got herself into a messy web of… I-don’t-even-know-what. He has nothing to offer me at all. And my relationship with him is by far the most selfless thing I have ever done in my life.

“What if I told you I’m not planning on having sex with you any time soon. Would you wait for me?”

You know what else… I really wish you’d tell me things. You know? Like how you would tell Paul things… or your other friends. You just sort of wait for me to ask you things. I wish you’d take the initiative to tell me if something’s on your mind. Your court situation isn’t a joke. You must be feeling things right now. You had a four hour conversation on the phone with your girlfriend yesterday and you couldn’t even bring it up to her at all?”

“Ask me something that’ll make me say “YUP”"
“Do you love me?”
NNNNNNNNNNOPE Haha… kidding
“Do you miss me?”
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUP!”

“Ok, Bye.”
“Wait… don’t just say bye. Wait. I want to tell you I love you first”
“Okay”
“Bye, babe. I love you”